Deconstruction at the Harrison Center
April 22, 2018
"To step away from the chaos and listen"
A sentence that runs through my mind often.
Growing in importance during my time in France.
"De m'éloigner du chaos et d'écouter"
The slow and steady pushing away of anxious thoughts to be present, to engage.
It was a privilege to spend an afternoon collaborating with the Muncie Symphony Orchestra for 4x4x4. To merge the two iterations of this project into one. Creating space for the participants to both listen and engage with one another about the process. To connect with a community of people that I might not have had the opportunity to cross paths with otherwise.
I have been thinking a lot about the value of listening:
In communication, that understanding comes through a dialogue of give and take.
In art making, that the work itself often is leading to a natural growth or progression.
In processing transition, that sitting with unfiltered thoughts long enough can create space to recognize the impact of change.
March 11, 2015
Moment. Moment over. New moment.
March 6, 2015
Dan, Amanda and I made the treacherous walk through an iced over alley.
Destination, Heorot--another Muncie favorite.
Despite being served by a disappearing bartender we ordered drinks and sat down to deconstruct.
Thesis updates.
Future plans.
We talked about how strange it will be to leave our friends behind as we transition into this post-graduation space. Dan in Chicago, Amanda still unsure, and me potentially on the other side of the world.
March 4, 2015
Home for a night with my family, time together has been short this year.
Sports highlights, family dinner, and deconstruction.
My dad and I are very similar--we love writing, are always generating ideas, and each have a sizable collection of catchphrases. He and I are also alike in temperament, so I was not surprised when he easily fell into a rhythm with the process.
This was the first time deconstructing with my family, so my mom asked a lot of questions to better understand my intent in using this action to engage with people.
When my dad finished he threw the threads on the ground, an action reminiscent of a touchdown celebration. He conquered the canvas, and soon he was helping my mom finish her piece.
March 3, 2015
Twin Peaks, convoluted
Dan , Keagan, Matt
Deconstruct
Finally understand
Meditative, relaxing
Determined
Yuki, transfixed
Eyes follow thread
Fabric to pile
March 1, 2015
Jami invited me to come to Kali's apartment. They were lounging on the couch when I arrived. Handing each a piece of canvas I crashed in the middle. Kali read the Deconstruction Kit, sometimes it is just easier to let the written word communicate ideas. I was having an exceptionally difficult time articulating thoughts.
Settling into a rhythm, Jami and Kali expressed a sense of satisfaction in deconstruction.
Jami was with me in Baltimore last semester, the first time that I deconstructed with friends.
Kali told me about her job, how she is considering moving after her lease is up in August. I talked about projects and the growing case of sentimental senioritis that has crept into my life of late.
Kelsey came over, she had a lot of questions. It was good to catch up, hear about her job and her plans for the next year--grad school.
We spent the rest of our evening analyzing the "man bun" phenomenon, talking about marriage, and stay at home moms--many different perspectives.
Kali removed her last thread ceremoniously, finally done.
Accomplished.
February 28, 2015
I spontaneously decided to take an adventure to see my friends Carly and Kyle in Fort Wayne . I had not seen them since Christmas and wanted to get away from Muncie for a while. I arrived around dinner time.
See this Instagram photo by @mjoyliver * 35 likes
Carly wanted to introduce me to her new favorite coffee shop before dinner, a Red-Eye was the perfect pick me up. Coffee plays an important role in our friendship, we met in a Starbucks. Most of our time together is spent talking over coffee.
We picked up Boyhood from the Redbox after dinner and deconstructed while we watched.
Carly quickly got the hang of deconstruction, but it was more difficult for Kyle. He made some Jerry Seinfeld reference about the process, it was completely lost on me, but they both thought it was hilarious.
I enjoyed sharing the process with the two of them. They do not normally get to engage with the work that I make because we have not lived in the same place for the last five years.
February 27, 2015
After class Amanda, Marissa and I decided to go to Damask, a local Mediterranean restaurant where many of our friends work, for an early dinner. I was particularly excited to order a Turkish coffee that afternoon.
My favorite booth is number seventeen, each time we sit there I am completely mesmerized by the light coming through the window. Light, refracted through a water glass, spreads across the table. Shadows, cast by wrought iron designs covering the window, glide across the wall as the sun begins to set.
See this Instagram photo by @mjoyliver * 35 likes
After we ordered, and took a few photos of the light, I got the canvas out. We realized that there were only two pieces, so Amanda and Marissa decided to share one. They deconstructed from opposite ends. When our waitress came back to check on us she was curious, asking a few questions about the process.
Our time was mostly spent in laughter, that is usually the case when I get together with Amanda and Marissa. I find myself Tweeting at least one thing Amanda says when we hang out. At this point I no longer remember the context of the following statement, but I can tell you that we laughed about it for a while.
My friend Carrie came into work that afternoon and sat with us for a while, when the restaurant was not busy. She had recently been accepted to spend two years overseas with a faith-based nonprofit, so she told us a little bit about that. Carrie did not know what country she would be living in yet, she said she would find out in a few weeks. She and I made fictitious plans to meet up on the other side of the world, because I am also hoping to be overseas next year.
See this Instagram photo by @mjoyliver * 27 likes
Hash tag brought to you by dramatically quoting my artist statement all afternoon:
Deconstruction, thread by thread
The space where perseverance and stillness meet
Here I grapple with transformation
See this Instagram photo by @mnsteward * 6 likes
After we finished up with some documentation I drove both of them home. We parted ways with Marissa for the week. She would leave for Arizona that Sunday, while Amanda and I were staying in town to work on our thesis projects.
Februrary 25, 2015
My photography class recently submitted work to show at Savage's Ale House in Muncie--one of our favorite places in town. We planned to hang out as a class after the show went up. We arrived just after seven, it was busy for a Wednesday night. Eventually we found two tables and pushed them together, ordered drinks and I pulled out the canvas.
Marissa was on a mission to finish her piece, deconstructing at rapid speed. Kristina wanted to slow down and enjoy the process. She told me that as she was working on her Deconstruction Kit she rushed through, to accomplish the task. She found the process frustrating because the threads would often break. Only when she slowed down in the end did it become enjoyable.
Cori was sitting next to me that night. I noticed that her pile of threads resembled a nest, created as each delicately fell into place.
It was refreshing to spend time together outside of class, each of us have been running around in circles in order to wrap up the semester. We talked about scary movies, and reminisced about our first class trip to Savage's last year.
I think we are all coming down with a case of nostalgia. Marissa brought up the first time that we talked in Drawing class freshman year. I had seen her on campus taking photographs, so I asked if she planned on majoring in Photography. Amanda joked about seeing me walking in the Atrium, before we met one another, and knowing that we would be good friends. I am thankful for this group of people, though Amanda was joking about that particular instance, we all have grown close over the years.
As always time seemed to evaporate and we hurriedly cleared out to make it to class on time.
February 11, 2015
The day was wild leading up to Deconstruction, actually the whole week was wild. I had nearly forgotten to invite anyone, assuming that my Bailey and Kevin--my faithful participants, would be able to make it.
I rushed home when my afternoon meeting was over to get everything ready. I tore a few pieces of canvas and set up a recording device as an alternative form of documentation. Just after seven Bailey called me, she was not able to come that evening as another obligation came up at the last minute.
After a series of events I ended up at my favorite place to hang out on campus, the video lab. Dan was also working in the lab. I deconstructed while Dan told me more about his Thesis concept, preparing for a short presentation he would give later in our night class.
Dan and I were in the same photo class in high school, I do not remember talking to him back then. However, when we took Photo 1 in college we would reminisce about that class and our teacher Mr. Daly. Since then we have been in many of the same classes and are currently working on a collaborative piece with our friend Ryan.
The time for class quickly came. Before we went downstairs I took and Tweeted the customary canvas selfie.
January 21, 2015
My roommate Elizabeth and her brother James joined Bailey, Kevin and me for deconstruction. They were sitting in the living room after eating dinner together so I invited them to try to deconstruct a small piece of canvas.
I could tell that both were hesitant to say yes, but they decided to humor me. Elizabeth and James approached the task with extreme concentration, trying to find the flow. I noticed at one point James stopped to post his deconstructed material to Instagram. Elizabeth asked many questions that night in order to get to know Kevin and Bailey.
Again time escaped us. Kevin and Bailey left with their leftover canvas. They wanted to make something with it. Elizabeth and James continued to spend time chatting in the living room. Later that night James texted me a photo of a single piece of canvas that followed him home.
He also chose to take a Deconstruction Kit for the road, planning to deconstruct during one of his classes the next day.
January 14, 2015
Bailey and Kevin were the first to enter the Deconstruction Zone, as Bailey affectionately named it earlier in the week. I have known Kevin since high school and Bailey since freshman year. We have not spent much time together until recently.
Crashing on the couches we began to deconstruct.
Paige joins the group about fifteen minutes later. I am excited that she could come because I had not seen her in a few months.
After some time of deconstructing in silence Kevin mentioned an artist, Astrud Gilberto, that he had been listening to recently and wanted to play for us. Kevin is always exploring different music. He was then dubbed musical curator for the evening.
Before we knew it 8:30pm was upon us. We hurriedly cleaned up, storing the deconstructed material in small bags.
